An Open Letter

Dear Nikon Coolpix S3000,

Until today you've been my faithful friend.  Your slim design fit neatly into my Carhartt jacket pocket.  I could easily pull you out, take some photos, and go right back to whatever task I was performing with nary a break in the action.  Harvesting veggies, trimming sheep hooves, or picking rocks out of the fields...you were always there.  The quality of your photos was pretty good for the cost.

However, based on today's events, I would like to suggest an amendment to your "Quick Start Guide."  Although the "Guide" is useful, I see a significant oversight on your part, and its inclusion might have prevented the catastrophe I endured.

"Section G.II.a:  Additional instructions for care of your Nikon Coolpix S3000.

When arriving home tired on a Friday night after a productive week on the farm, it is important to remember to remove your new camera from your jacket pocket before attempting to do laundry. The device will not function properly after being submerged in water for the duration of the wash cycle.  Do not attempt to air dry the lithium battery or memory card...this is wishful thinking and only makes you look ridiculous. If this happens, do not attempt to call us...your warranty is completely void under these circumstances and we will make fun of you after addressing your concerns over the phone."

Nikon Coolpix, I trust that this suggested addition to the owners manual will prevent any undue suffering on the part of your future customers.  Thank you for your consideration.

Rest in peace